So ten days after publishing my last blog in my June Blog A Day challenge and I find myself sitting here, listless and sighing heavily, with a hint of melancholy in the aftertaste. Why am I so blue? Do I miss the challenge of digging deep and letting the world into my world on a daily basis? The relentless soul searching and pen-and-ink regurgitation was quite stressful at the time so I anticipated much more relief than I can currently lay claim to.
I think a part of it has to do with the fact that I’m sitting here and realizing that as a teacher the work never ends and as a mom the work never ends and Holy Bigglesworth as an about-to-be Masters student, the work never ends so where on earth am I going to find all the time my life needs now and will continue to need when the STORM of September (Me teaching. Me studying. Jude starting school <—ermagerd!!) rains down?!?!?
This is all side stepping the other basic issue that my health is still in the crapper.
I took some drastic measures.
I have cut wheat out, and pretty much all that is delicious (no cake, cookies, biscuits, pasta, sugar, artificial sugar, dairy, happiness)
I’m cringing my way into a slow acceptance of the (added protein) green goop that my son calls “Garden Juice” that now comprises my breakfast and lunch. Or my breakfast and dinner on the days when my single, solitary, solid meal has to come between the consumption of the Green Juice…stuff.
Hey…I’ve been having Green Juice every day this month so I guess I’ve accidentally created a July challenge too. July is for staying on the Green Juice. Now if I can really stay OFF the other stuff, I’ll be really impressed.
Still, despite me spending a week now doing this, ( I mean seriously! Green juice, water, tea and a single solid meal a day!!!!) I have managed to successfully lose a sum total of 0 pounds. At least I think I lost zero. I hope I didn’t put any more on. DID I GAIN WEIGHT??? Must check scale now! No, tomorrow. No, Next week. Sigh. This seems to be my general talent these days…gaining wads of fat by simply daring to be alive one more day.
Anyhoo, big day approaches, when I go in for some more scary (expensive!) tests, testing for what my doctor admitted is the super scientific condition of “mumble mumble shoulder shrug slightly panicked eye bulge”.
Perhaps that’s why I’m feeling so snippy? Blue? Sad?
I would have thought getting accepted into my chosen course (Masters in Translation, Spanish & French, thank you very much) would have kept me euphoric all the way into next week but no. That glow lasted about the length of the acceptance letter then faded.
Maybe I just need sleep.
OR HALF A THOUSAND LOAVES OF BREAD WITH NOTHING ON IT BUT MORE BREAD.
I don’t know.
What I do know is that today, Dear Interwebs, I am blue and blah and blech all at the same time.
Here’s hoping tomorrow brings a happier note.
I can’t believe I came back after 10 days like this.
No bluebirds of happiness here.
I loved that movie, now that I mention it.
Perhaps I shall wander off to find it and find myself lifted?
I’m going to finish this piece of chicken, gulp down me green juice like a lovely lass and trundle off for an early bedtime.
The only cookies for me are the ones I post here,
So here’s one for you and one for me
And one for courage
Cause who doesn’t need a couple crumbs of that everyday?