When your coworker congratulates you on being pregnant (but you’re not)

When your coworker congratulates you on being pregnant, when you are NOT, there are a few things you can do.

There are also a few things you can NOT do. Among them you may find that you should NOT:

1. Curl up on the floor and by her desk weeping


2. Curl up on the floor by YOUR desk weeping

3. Smite her mightily with the wrath of Zeus ( or any other mythological force of choice)


4. Kick her in the shins before grabbing a dry erase marker and screaming, “for Africaaaa” or somesuch, while charging into her with the full force of your (by now established) giant bulk


5. Swap her herbal teas for a black market brew that would inflate only her stomach, waiting for the moments when months later in an echo of your own unsolvable medical incursion she too boasts immovable undesired poundage so that you can approach her chirpily with a handmade card congratulating her on her own big fat baby belly which isn’t actually a baby but instead a simmering cauldron of revenge tea ( which while delicious cold in this case would be best served steaming hot)

Dear Interwebs..why is this a picture you have?



6. Whimper ” I hate you ” before rushing out in a gale of Tony type tears.


7. Die of feels


No. When a coworker congratulates you on the pregnancy you do not in fact have you simply smile sweetly, inform her to the contrary and march on over to your desk with your head held high.


Like so


Then you grab some cookies. To give your fists something else to do.
And you wait for the feels to die.


Courage Natz.
One day at a time.



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