Am Adult

Am adult.

I pay my mortgage early.
I pay my homeowner’s association fees on time.
I pay my credit card and cell phone bills promptly and insurance gets paid by automatic deduction.

Am adult.

I write ‘thank you’ cards with a real pen.
I write ‘thank you’ cards at all.
I call friends to catch up and I have REAL news alerts on my phone.

Am adult.

I have a job that I go to almost no matter what.
I work my butt off, for very little pay and almost zero gratitude.
I never settle with ‘did it’, I work for ‘killed it’, and when I do, I try hard not to run around staff room screaming IN YO FACE WITH THIS GREATNESSSS!

Am adult.

Have amazing husband and try my best to wife-as-verb
Have beautiful kids and try to full-time-mom with the every minute I get
Have groceries to buy and meals to cook and activities to plan and I LOVE it.
Have “Household Command Center”. Tis genius.

Am adult.

Have diabetes, and even though it’s kicking my butt right now, am doing best.
I medicate. I regulate. I exer…sate.
I buy test strips before they run out, and needles are always in stock.
I know how many units in syringe, and when to take new one from fridge.

Am adult.

But every now and then,
When someone takes my mug at work
WITHOUT my permission
And leaves me hunting it like a freaking Cup Whisperer in the Wilds of Staffus Roomus
And has it sitting on their desk stewing the remnants of some murky brew

It’s time to go full grade school.

The claim may wash off but the shame will stain….
This is Grade A primo passive aggression at its finest
Me n Sharpie, we could rule the world….


Most days.


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