When your doctor calls at 5am

No one gets excited when their doctor calls at 5am.

My doctor called at 5am this morning.

Then he sent an email.

Basically, he said that with all the up and down of my readings, it’s time to radically change things.

We’re going to try something else now.
We’re going to add a new medication, and we’re going to order up another batch of blood tests.

Soooo. So here we go again.

In very happy news,
The cancer marker tests I underwent came back negative, so that’s one great thing we can just put in a black box for now.
And for that I am deeply, deeply grateful.
Sorry, dear interwebs….there is no real happy blog for today,
But there can still be a ‘hopey’ one.

I am filled with hope because. Because God.
Will He cure me, remove all traces of this condition in one go?
He certainly could, and I won’t stop hoping that He will.
But more than that, I know the sudden surge of courage that flooded me one night, to sit and type out and actually publish my original Coming Out blog came from Him. The aftershock of my audacity sent me into such hiding after that, that I didn’t write for nearly a year. Then again came the words, and the courage to put the words where anyone could see, these words and whichever ones are yet to come.
So here are my words.
In them hides hope.
I will write and fight and cry and write.
About all the good and great and sad and scary things in my life.
On days like this, it feels impossible to remember that I am more than a diabetic.

But I am.
I won’t say diabetes made me a better person (because no.)
But it’s sure done wonders for my blogging.

Maybe one day more people will find me and my little words, whirling around in our small corner of the internet.
Maybe it will continue to be just a few friends and strangers.

In any case, I’m going to keep doing what I do.
That’s hoping, blogging, living and of course that occasional cookie.

For courage.

We’ll get through this, D-loves.
We’ll be fine.


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