Dear Jude, it’s easy to say ‘don’t judge’ and just as easy to fail miserably at that cliche. So what I will say instead, my darling, is that it’s okay to feel hurt by others, and your mind may bubble up with angry adjectives in the moment. All I ask is that you let that moment be a moment, transient and fleeting; that you don’t let that moment mark that person, or mar your ability to forgive and to live in hope that one day you might better understand. Even if you never do, remember that bitterness most affects the one whose tongue it’s on. Spit it out, baby. Let go. Move on.