Pregnancy is a Mutha #4

Thing 4

Swellage: the result of the act of swelling. The state of your nose, boobs, lips, feet, arms, thighs and of course belly. If you wanted a bigger butt, you won’t get it; if you were hoping you wouldn’t, congratulations Lady BabyGotBack. Same for boobs, I find. Already huge boobed and praying for controlled growth? Prepare for total boobsplosion, while those of us meek in chest may get a consolation cup size. MAYBE.

No one really wants the supersize any other part of the anatomy, so it’s just unfortunate in all other areas (please note the bee stung lip look is still provisioned almost exclusively by lip glosses, implants or of course bee stings. Sorry Preggos). Oh also, that chick who you always felt just a teeeensy bit jealous of? Yeah, she’s going to get pregnant the same time as you and look bedazzling beside your bedraggled, bejowelled, BEHEMOTH self. And there will be pictures. On Facebook. Tagged.


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