Bionic Nose: Is someone eating pizza? Yes…about 2 streets over. And last Tuesday. But lucky, lucky you- You can STILL smell the stuff, and you know what? You’ll still be smelling it 3 weeks from Friday. Because now your nose has gone bionic. You can literally smell the lies a 5th grader is telling her English teacher in a school halfway across the country. You can smell the car that just screeched to a stop at the top of your road. You can smell everyone’s toothpaste, deodorant and soap and let’s not EVEN talk about the smell of the LACK of those things. You can now even smell things like hope, and desperation and when every single smell on the planet makes you violently ill, it’s of course the perfect time to turn those smells up by a factor of about 5000. So yes, please little Malaysian grandma across the globe, PLEASE go on ahead and add that extra pepper, and whatever that ingredient wiggling on your chopstick is. PLEASE go ahead and add it. What does it matter that I’ll be smelling it every day for the rest of my first trimester! You too Mr Indian man outside the Taj Mahal, thanks for that extra curry. My nostrils and I thank you.